Supporting Conversations Around Identity
It can be difficult to know how to support conversations around autistic identity, whether that be broaching the subject that you think someone in your life might be autistic, or even sharing with others that you think you might be autistic yourself.
There is no right or wrong way to approach a conversation around autistic identity, but it is important to consider who you choose to have the conversation with.
Reaction to this type of conversation can vary from person to person and is usually influenced by their individual understanding of autism, however advanced that might be. This is largely dependent on societal and cultural perspectives, as well as that person’s individual personal experience with autism if they have any.
On this page, we will look at how you might approach disclosing your own autistic identity and how you could approach wider conversations around autistic identity. As previously mentioned, there is no right or wrong way to navigate these conversations. These are some suggestions that we have drawn from our experience that may be useful.
If you think someone in your life might be autistic
It is important to approach these conversations sensitively, but more importantly in a positive manner. How a person might react will vary from one person to the next. Some might have considered their identity before, or even already identify as being autistic. Others might never have considered the possibility and could need some time to process it.
It is useful, before approaching these conversations, to think about these things first:
Autism Understanding
Spend time learning about autism from trusted sources that are informed by autistic lived experience. There is a lot of misinformation about autism in the public domain, but autistic-led or autistic-informed resources like Scottish Autism are a good place to start. This will equip you with the solid understanding you need to navigate the conversation with confidence, and where possible, provide some information to the person you are speaking to.
Throughout the conversation, you should ask the person if they have any understanding of autism and if so, what that understanding is. As previously mentioned, understanding varies significantly and is often influenced by external factors such as societal and cultural perspectives. The conversation may involve navigating different perspectives in a sensitive and positive way.
Supportive Environment
Considering where the conversation takes place is important. It should be an environment where the person is comfortable and feels safe talking to you.
Celebrate Neurodiversity
It is important to speak positively about neurodiversity. Recognise that society is neurodiverse, and that those differences in thinking, behaving and experiencing the world are what gives it its colour. Because of misinformation about autism, there can be a stigmatised view of what it is, and that can create fear about what it has to mean. The reality is, it looks and feels different to every autistic person – every experience is different and valid.
Access to Reliable Information and Resources
You might want to share some of the resources or information you have found, in whatever way feels accessible to the person you are speaking to. Though too much information might be overwhelming, a little guidance from a trusted resource that the person can explore at their own pace can be really useful.
Support Questioning
These conversations naturally invite questions. It’s important that you answer these honestly, relying on trusted resources. If you don’t know the answer, you can refer them to a trusted resource like Scottish Autism who will be able to help. Questions are not always immediate, and some people need additional time to process things before curiosity arrives. It might even be easier for some people to write down their questions or send them to you at a later date.
Support Processing
Processing can look different for different people. Some people choose to process out loud, others may wish to process the information inwards and might research things themselves instead. Similarly, some people can process information quickly, and others need time.
If you would like further advice on how to approach these conversations in a sensitive, positive way, please contact our Community Advice Services. You can find the details at the bottom of this page.
Disclosing Autistic Identity with Others
Disclosing that you are autistic can be a daunting experience. Whether this be family, friends, colleagues or anyone you choose to confide in, the reaction can be unpredictable. This is why it is important to feel safe and confident in your disclosure, and we hope that these tips can help you with that.
These points are tailored mainly towards discussions you might have with friends, family and those close to you. If you are hoping to have a conversation in your place of work or education, please visit our education and employment page.
Wherever you are on this journey, Scottish Autism can provide advice, support and guidance through our community advice services. A formal diagnosis is not required to access this support.
“The wealth of knowledge the advisor had about autism has enabled me to feel empowered in approaching the topic in general”